In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize