He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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