Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize