I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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