i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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