I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize