He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
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There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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