Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize