his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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