I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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