i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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