Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize