The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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