Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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