This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize