My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Everclear isn't food dammit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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