Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I checked into jail on foursquare
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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