My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I want a musical about memes.
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