We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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