i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
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the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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