So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize