I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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