I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize