Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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