omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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