Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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