I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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