Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize