no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize