he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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