I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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