I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
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I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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