I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize