I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize