Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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