everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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