his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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