anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize