nut hugger
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize