how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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