I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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