Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize