It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize