Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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