oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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