I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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