could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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