he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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