But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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