I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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